Ive tried about six times.... i know i wanna write... but dont know what...... if anyone is reading this.... there is a long... long.... long one coming up next.....

Perched on the fifth floor, I have this excellent view of Pune, this city is like any other, a concrete jungle.... but then I have the hills very close by, so the morning are fabulous..... I was up most of last night... working some.... reading some... figuring somethings out... spending the night.. to plan for my day !!

Early this morning, something very interesting happened.... a stray litter on campus managed to get on the fifth floor, and a bunch of mid sized puppies were romping around... not the best thing that can happen to you, but most definitely great to see a bunch of happy puppies early morning... fed them a couple of stale biscuits !!

I wish something nice would happen every morning, it makes my day.... If you're reading this.... and you know who you are, (fat chance you'll be reading my blog though !!) you're the most special thing thats happened to me... I wish I was with you.... !!

Compulsive tendencies, what does it mean to be compulsive ??
Well, how about this.... all smokers casually pick up a smoke when theres nothing much to do....
OR, There is always this one thing thats on your mind at all times.. so much so.. that you'd do anything to keep things in a certain way in ur mind atleast...
There is this story about a certain tribe in Africa, where exepecting mothers were sent to this small hut all by themselves, and they came out of the hut, their child in their hands, not a sound ever came out of the hut.... A western reasearcher who went there was mind blown by this phenomena.... only to realise when told by the chief of the clan, that its all in the mind....
Similarly, so many things in our lives are all in our minds.... sometimes, we end up liking or disliking someone, without any reason as such, its almost automatic....
And then again, even if it hurts us, we chase something or go after something as if our lives depended on it..... Hellen Keller was righ when she said " No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".... We just do it to ourselves, and the best part is, it doesnt hurt then... it doesnt even smart.... its all done.... till you think about it later... and even then... some of our emotions have it in them to neutralize all others..... we keep fighting and we screaming, but we know inside us... that thats the way to be,... no matter what... no matter where....

All who smile, should know... that without tears there wud have been no smiles...
Sometimes, just sometimes, look beyond yourself and reach out to someone else... it helps understand how insignificant our problems are... lets say... its just a way to make ourselves feel better..... Stand like a wall, for those who have you when the cement hadnt dried.... otherwise.. whatever was the use of building this wall ??

Love like you never have.... lifes too short for hatred....

hello cruel.. .cruel world...
or rather... hello me... i wud be surprised if anyone still follows this blog.....
its been a while... more than a while actually... and it doesnt seem to great to have missed the oppourtunity have written my heart out here...
well.... come to think of it... i dont feel like writing much anymore than i did yesterday... but yes i promise a lot more of me is going to come onto this page now....
i suppose its essential that i atleast write a tad bit more... or i suppose my creative talents... whatever little i do have... shall go to the dumps......
much more follows... even if no ones going to be reading this... atleast for my satisfaction....

“God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.”

Bill Watterson quotes (American Author of the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes, b.1958)

i require a teleportation device.... a time machine... the rest will come on its own :)
i wonder why manking hasnt really invested enough into these important inventions...

Of betrayal, and lies... which is the greater evil ?

Im almost done with 5 years.... and im utterly confused.... of gandhi and hitler... who was worse...
In my own perspective... rather as an Indian.... i would say Gandhi.... truth... all balls...
People just go over the cliff with the way they are.... not like i havent.... at one point of time... but people do it ever so incessantly... and that too over somethings that wreck your sense of time and space... and emotions...

This places is horribly lonely... i live with two other people.... and im thankful for them.... it cud have been much much worse...
People change in such environments.... adapt to them and then grow within them... for better or for worse... lonliness can get to you... it can become an inspiration for some and for some others it becomes a weakness....

At times it all bites... and so hard... that you try and clinge on to whatever little you have.... or at times... hope to have.... dillusions... illusions... and day dreaming become a part of your life... and then one day you wake up..... and trust me... you wake up on the wrong side of your bed... to become someone... so heartless... metamorphised in your tryst for survival, that you can hardly recognize yourself...

Every now and then.... you try and become normal again... try and grow an extension to yourself which is nipped off.... by none other than yourself.... and times when that isnt nipped, something else is... and all the gung ho that you have falls right off... lonliness teaches u to deal with it all.... and... well wait for another arm to grow... :)

Review next week.... I hate them for doing this to me.... Im fedd up of this stupid thesis.... it isnt making any sense to me anymore...

I dont want to be here... i wanna be far far away.... with.....

My state of mind :

"Crazy"

In a church by the face
He talks about the people going under
Only child know
A man decides after seventy years
That what he goes there for
Is to unlock the door
While those around him criticize and sleep
And through a fractal on that breaking wall
I see you my friend and touch your face again
Miracles will happen as we trip
But we're never gonna survive unless
We get a little crazy
No we're never gonna survive unless
We are a little
Crazy cray crazy
Crazy are the people walking through my head
One of thems got a gun to shoot the other one
And yet together they were friends at school
Get it, get it, get it, yeah!
If all were there when we first took the pill
Then maybe then maybe then maybe then maybe
Miracles will happen as we speak
But we're never gonna survive unless
We get a little crazy
No we're never gonna survive unless
We are a little
Crazy
No no we'll never survive unless we get a little bit
A man decides to go along after seventy years
Oh darlin
In a sky full of people only some want to fly
Isn't that crazy
In a world full of people only some want to fly
Isn't that crazy
Crazy
In a heaven of people there's only some want to fly
Ain't that crazy
Oh babe Oh darlin'
In a world full of people there's only some want to fly
Isn't that crazy
Isn't that crazy Isn't that crazy Isn't that crazy
Ohh
But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy crazy
No we're never gonna to survive unless we are a little crazy
But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy crazy
No we're never gonna to survive unless we are a little crazy
No no never survive unless we get a little bit
And then you see things
The size of which you've never known before
They'll break it
Someday
Only child know
Them things
The size
Of which you've never known before
Someday

ummmm.... bunk it...

it tought seeing nani try and cope over nana not bieng there anymore every day..... its not going to happen in a day... but thank god she has adequate support... i end up feeling so miserable every now and then.. i wonder what shes going through.... to be married for 51 years... to share each others lives for all the time... and then suddenly one day..... you wake up to remember that the other person isnt there anymore..... maybe ive over simplified it... but i guess all the good times make the pain worthwhile....kudos to the institution of marraige....

Things have changed so much since i got back last time...
Nanaji is no more..... things have changed so so much..... i cant seem to be able to identify all the changes... its all a massive blur.... but yes..... i wish i was there when he died..... noone told me anything.... and coming back and facing the reality which was as harsh as this.... wasnt quite easy.....
Its been a rough 15 days....

right im back...
wonder why they shut off all the blogs.... bloody hell....
jury on the 27th..... slogging my butt off....

So bloody correct man... calvin rocks... hes the modern kid.. and then again also questions the adult within us.... hes the perfect devil, and also the perfect angel.... the one kid who isnt a stereotype... rocking aint he?

a decent paper.... but then again... professional practice... u never know.... who reads the bullshit that they teach us, and compares it to the bullshit that they know... lol... u never know how things will be with subjects like this

ahem....
exams in the horizon.... in less than 24 hours... and i just started studying... wish me luck guys... im really bamboozled... professional practise... lol...
lets see what happens... shockingly, none of us seem to be tensed one bit...
maybe its a good thing...
lets see what happens...

And then god said, there shall be noise... !!!!!!

Some of the goddamn idiots living around us are the biggest bloody ******* ive seen. O the friggin idiots start washing thier clothes at like 5 in the morning, and my room faces and balcony which faces thiers.... and make it conveneient to grunt like the Maria Sharapovas on TV every time they raise the poor clothes over thier heads and bring the down with such a bang, that a dead man would spring alive.

Its either the clothes, or the bloody utensils, i wonder how many they use in day... theyre always washing, it is soooo irritating.

They make it a point to stand there and shout if we play music a wee bit louder than usual, or any of us soccer enthusiasts lets out a little scream. But then again, i wish i could go over to thier place and smash something up, to make them realise that if i play something loud it has melody, what u have banging outside ur house is a like .... NOISE !!

Im doing a bio tech facility for my thesis, finally, the entire process ends... or rather starts..
Its been a nice day, the sun behind the clouds, the faint glow all around... The breeze, or should i call it a gale...
it was like this when i was in first year... then it all seemed to have changed, mans effect on his climate... but now its back...
lets see maybe we could make a trip to DD Hills sometime... it wud so rock...

awright...
all of em buggers are slowly moving out of Kolkata... Arjun is a Mumbai man now... and from the scene of things, i dont think hes moving anywhere else very soon.
Everyone has moved on with thier lives, ever so fast faced all over the face of this earth. Everyone i knew is walking the path to different lives, and different situations.
I dont know what the city will look like for me in the next couple of years, somehow i have a feeling that im going right back to it once im done with my studies.
People say its a dead city, but then again, i think there is more it to it than that, people everywhere need a place to stay, and as long as that is there, people like me come into the picture... the never ending business of construction.
But then again, its fab to see all this, people movin on in different directions....
It was a revelation for me, when i came here four years ago, to live on my own, to grow on my own, today i guess its the same for everyone else who's moving away... in one way or the other
cheers mates... to our new lives...

ah well....
my forgetful self...
sometimes i wonder why i forget somethings in one moment...
if ur wondering what im aiming at... well thats meant for me to know and you to guess...
but its rather human to be like this....
or so they say....